Well Damn. I thought I’d have it pretty well figured out by 34.

Surely, by 34, I’d be living the dream. 

Dreams vs. Realities

Sometimes, I am still the little girl playing Barbies, watching romantic comedies, and curating a soundtrack to her life. I can get caught up in the dream of how things should, could be if I was cast a different role or written a new script. I will never forget the day a boy I loved told me “life isn’t a fairy tale, Laura”.

Today, I woke up to celebrate the realities I’m living in versus the dreams I expected to come true by 34.

Blissed Out In Love

Let me set the scene: stomach pains for two days, 98 degrees outside, and I finally decided to lay down and rest. Fell asleep mid-Real Housewives catch up, 20 minutes before the kids bus is due to arrive.

CHOMP. chew, chew, chew. CHOMP.

Guys, Taylor nearly lost a limb. I was blissed out in nap-land and this dude with a carrot is all like “ehhhh, whatsup doc?”

Reality

The dream is pure romance 24/7, living inside a love song, wrapped in a romantic comedy, and living a love story that wins awards. Reality: waking up from a nap to carrot chomping. But Taylor is my fairy tale. He is the love song, the dance in the kitchen, fight over parenting missteps, holding hands through scary times, light in the darkness, and twirl and dip at the end of a dance. Oh gosh, if you could only know that this one reality is far better than any dream I’ve had. But it does come with a side of human error like waking me from a nap…and for that I still celebrate.

Magical Mama to 4

You read that right – 4 kids. A few years ago, I thought for sure I’d be celebrating 34 with a new little baby fresh out the womb. I got a little baby fever when holding my brother’s fresh addition and then a little emotional about letting this dream go.

Reality

Truthfully, I barely keep my head above water with the three I’ve got. I’ve spent the last 2 years trying to prove to myself I could handle one more, things aren’t that hard. And just when that fever started to creep in, I saw Leo. My sweet number 3, finally getting easier. The Target tantrums are nearly obsolete (maybe because we don’t go anymore) and I’m finally getting some time for ME.

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I am celebrating the stages all our babies are in right now and the freedom that comes with their budding independence. I’ve released myself from the dream of 4 to the sweet joys of my crazy, sweet and sometimes chaotic life with three – no matter how many times they touch my belly and say “I hope there’s a baby in there” 

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Savings + Spending

Savings, ha. Spending carelessly, hahaha. Excuse the hysterics, but apparently I envisioned waking up at 34 a Kardashian. 

Reality

I grocery shop at Aldi, carry a cash envelope wallet, and comb through a budget monthly and this shit is like groundhogs day. However, it reminds me to focus on the end goal of retiring and exploring the world with Taylor, encourages me to work harder as an entrepreneur to create a little more cash flow, and keeps spending on insignificant crap (hi, throw pillows at Target – I’m talking about you!) to a minimum.

Most importantly, teaching our kids that everything from clothes, to the dollar store toys to the 3 packs of waffles we stock weekly, has a value. While money makes the world go round, it can turn a world upside down if managed poorly. 

Pinterest Perfect Home

Oh, you know the one[s]. Fresh flowers on the sprawling island, tables wiped free of syrup, crumb-free floors, and throw pillows on the couch [instead of the floor…why kids?! why?]

Reality

I’ve killed 7 stink bugs in our sunroom and my daughter’s socks multiply daily. They all gather under the couch in the family room, nestled up next to the 7 empty fruit snack wrappers my son is hiding.

There’s no “excuse the mess, we’re creating memories” bull here. We’re admittedly in a state of DIY disarray, laundry stacks piled high and toys scattered everywhere. We’re monsters. The dream of a tidy house lives on.

Body Blues + Food Fights

I’m likely blowing your mind. How could I look how I look and have issues with body confidence and fights with food? Dear readers, this is the smoke and mirrors of social media. 

Reality

This summer I found myself on the fringe of misery because I couldn’t eat well enough, be toned enough, exercise my binged sweet treats quick enough. 

At 34, I am finally digging up some deep-rooted issues I have with food, body image and how that all plays into my worth. My morning mindsets are just as much for me as they are for the people that watch them. I am a Coach but I am no expert. I am in it with you more than you could ever know. 

Let the Celebrating Begin

This morning my mom texted me and said “no one works harder at trying to better themselves than you”. I shared on Instagram stories this morning, I choose to CELEBRATE.

I am celebrating the girl I was, the dreams I dreamt, the hope I have for my future, and the PRESENCE of my reality. 

Today is a good day and 34 is a good year to have an AMAZING year. 

Thank you all for following along, being patient with the lack of blog posts and knowing that every day I’m hustling to share what I read, research, and learn with you.  Now go on and treat yourself to my birthday special: red velvet cake.

Xo,