I can still remember the fear I was wearing the day I went back to work in 2015. I spent two years as “just a mom”, feeling subpar comparatively, incapable of being “more” and an unsuccessful college graduate. I thought I had missed the boat, the one where opportunities knock, money flows and life appears perfect.
We were The Lucky Ones
Over the last three years, we lucked out. My little ones have been just a flight of stairs away from me, a distance that allowed phone calls like “Leo needs Motrin”, “there’s a party in Noah’s room” and “Aria needs a hug.”. Not only were they being cared for by people who love them almost as much as I do, I was able to find my stride professionally and still catch the milestones. While what I had appears to be the best of both worlds, I still found myself praying for a sign, of what though, I wasn’t exactly sure.
By spring this year, I was maxed out from the hustling and juggling that had become my daily routine. I couldn’t grab rest or reprieve despite my best efforts. Everyone needed more than I had to give, but still, I gave. Finally, unexpectedly and without guilt, I decided to take the week off during the kids’ spring break.
It was the best.week.ever. We traveled to see family, we had play-dates with our friends and we filled our depleted wells with one on one time. Monday came too quickly. We hurried out the door with the hustle – juggle – repeat routine cranked to full speed and then IT came. The long awaited and prayed for sign appeared in all of it’s glitz-less, neon-free letters, glory.
Here’s Your Sign [Jeff Foxworthy Voice]
Though I had been holding it together with tape and glue since Fall, I didn’t break like I thought I would. There was no outburst, tears or despair. Instead, it was a certainty. It had been so long since I felt absolute about a life-changing decision. Right then, on a Tuesday morning, I texted my husband: “I am giving my notice today.” All of the months of preparing, praying and considering culminated in one highly-supported, even-keel, matter of fact moment.
On my last day rockin’ a 9 to 5, I sat in my corner office with a view and gave myself a round of applause. I handed my keys to the sweet, fresh-out-of-college, road-wide-open new hire and shut that door knowing that I am enough. I am a smart, savvy, indispensable, hustler and juggler-of-all-things. I can be all of that and “just a mom”.
As it turns out, I didn’t miss the boat at all. I’ve just been sailing on a different one where the view is fleeting. I’m trading in the hustle-&-juggle act to drop anchor, swim ashore and revel in the sweetness of this precious time.
Mama’s back Y’all, but more importantly to you, my friend and reader, so is Ooh La Laura! You can expect new content as it relates to affordable style, beauty, DIY projects, and motherhood every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. This coming Monday my sanity-saving summer schedule [with free printables to download] will be featured on the blog. It’s colorful, organized and intentional – and I am nerding out over it. You can be sure to catch it in your inbox by subscribing to Ooh La Laura right here.
Different Babies – Same Bear Hugs